As mothers, we have a lot riding on our shoulders. A lot of responsibility, a lot of hopes and dreams, and a lot of care.

We really, really care about our precious children.

We want the best for them. We would do anything for them. Our hearts are now walking around on two (perhaps wobbly) little legs, and we’re suddenly more vulnerable than we’ve ever been before.

With this vulnerability comes susceptibility. In the name of motherly love, we are more susceptible to believing lies. Our hearts are softer. Our imaginations more wild, and our fears greater than ever.

So today, I want to share with you 12 Lies that Young Moms believe. But we’re not going to stay there. I am also going to share with you the truth to counter each one – what we can actually choose to believe.

And finally, after all these truths, I’m going to share with you the ultimate truth – the truth that really does set us free. If you are feeling discouraged, defeated, and lost in lies, I want to share hope.

So let’s begin.

12 Lies and Truth.

Lie 1. I have to do it perfectly.

Moms can think they can’t make mistakes or that if they do, there is no grace or hope for redemption. They might believe that with enough research, care, or willpower, they can make perfect decisions and avoid any problems.

Truth: I do not have to be a perfect Mom, because, when I’m in Christ, I have His perfect record.

The truth is you will make mistakes. You will make the wrong call, lose your temper, and miss an opportunity. But God is bigger. He has his hand on you and his hand on your child, and nothing happens apart from Him. He redeems what’s broken and uses what was meant for evil for good (Gen. 50:20). Your child is tougher than you think. They don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to need Christ.

Lie 2. My child needs to sleep through the night at ___ age.

Fill in the age. 3 months. 6 months. A year. And beyond that.

We hear that other babies are sleeping through the night. We imagine that other moms have it figured out.

Truth: My child can start sleeping through the night when we’re both ready.

Your child is unique. Their mother is too. Your situation is different than anyone else’s, and trust me, your baby will be okay if they still like to nurse in the wee hours of the morning.

Lie 3. Breastfeeding my child is the only way.

Moms can experience so much guilt if they struggle to nurse their baby. They fear they aren’t producing enough. They may feel anxious for their child’s wellbeing.

Truth: I am free to feed my baby however I am able.

The truth is that most women can breastfeed their babies (with the caveat that some can’t or struggle to produce enough milk). Mamas can find objective evidence to know whether their baby is getting enough and then act accordingly. Here is an encouraging, informative video to help Tips for Breastfeeding for New Moms | How Often Should I Breastfeed | Signs Baby Wants to Breastfeed.

But while I believe breastmilk is AMAZING, it is not bad to give your child formula if they need it. Feeding your baby is the goal, and you are not better or worse based on how you do it.

Lie 4. Protecting my child is all on my shoulders.

We love our babies; we see the dangers in the world around us, and we grow afraid. We would lay down our lives for our children, and yet we start to feel crushed by the enormous responsibility of protecting them. We start believing that keeping them safe is ALL on our shoulders.

Truth: I am not the sole protector and controller of my child’s life.

While we Moms (with our husbands) are the primary caretakers of our babies, and while it is right and good to do everything in our power to steward that responsibility well, we are not ultimately in control. God is ultimately in control, and He has placed other people (i.e. your husband, grandparents, etc.) in your child’s life to care for them too. We can choose to trust God and share the responsibility for our kids with trustworthy people.

Lie 5. It’s up to me to save my child.

If you know Christ, you will long for your child to know Him too. However, this desire can sometimes morph into a misbelief that you need to actually save them. We can think that if we do the right things, say the right things, and pray the right things, that we can actually save their souls.

Truth: Only Jesus can save my child.

Jesus is the only Savior. He is the only One who can soften your child’s heart and draw him or her to Himself.

Acts 4:12 And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Lie 6. A bad day makes me a bad Mom.

We have bad days. We get impatient with our kids. Accidents happen. Situations are handled poorly.

And we think we’re a bad mom because of it.

Truth: Good moms also have bad days.

Everyone has hard days. Everyone makes mistakes. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a human one.

Lie 7. I’m ruining my child.

When we struggle as Moms, we can fear we’re messing up our child. We grow anxious that our shortcomings will negatively affect them, and we panic.

Truth: I’m called to be faithful and trust my child’s outcomes to God.

Every parent has struggles, and sometimes these do negatively affect our children. We are called to be responsible, wise parents. We should seek to grow and be more like Jesus. As parents, we do have a high calling. But ultimately, God has his hand on your child. He is in charge of outcomes – not us.

Lie 8. My child needs to keep up with other kids.

Moms can be tempted to compare. We hear that “so and so’s” child is walking at 10-months, and we wonder why our child isn’t walking even at 13-months. We hear that “so and so’s” daughter is riding a bike without training wheels, and we worry that ours hasn’t mastered that skill. It could be potty-training, sleeping in a big kid bed, or learning to read, but we can think our child needs to keep up with their peers in everything.

Truth: My child will grow at his/her own pace.

Your child doesn’t need to be at the same level as everyone else. They are unique, and if they are healthy and developing, they will reach the milestones they need to. It really doesn’t matter if they walk at 10-months or 16-months.

Lie 9. Everyone needs to agree with how I parent.

We Moms can fear what other people think. We might want approval to know we’re making the right decisions. This can feel crippling and exhausting.

Truth: There will always be someone who disagrees with me.

Not everyone has to agree with how you raise your children. If you and your husband are seeking the Lord and are in agreement, you can make decisions confidently. While we should pursue peace with everyone (Heb. 12:14), there will always be someone who disagrees with our choices. That’s okay. You can pursue peace, honor others, and get Godly counsel while still making confident decisions for your own family.

Lie 10. I know better than my husband.

Husbands and wives are a team, and the enemy wants to divide them. Wives can be tempted to think they know better than their husbands. As a result, they can seek to undermine their husband’s God-given authority.

Truth: God has put my husband as the leader of our home.

I can voice my thoughts and then choose to submit to my husband, as long as doing so doesn’t cause me to disobey God. I can entrust my worries to God and honor my husband as the head of our family.

Lie 11. I need to be stronger.

Moms can sometimes feel weak. Tears come quickly. Energy wanes, and we wish we felt more put together.

Truth: When I am weak, Christ is strong.

God allows us to feel weak, because it shows His power. We don’t need to be stronger or more put together, because His grace is enough for us (2 Cor. 12:9).

2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Lie 12. I’m better or worse than other moms.

We can think we’re better than some moms and worse than others. When we compare ourselves to other moms, we can either feel great about ourselves or like total failures.

Truth: I’m a blessed mom, and I can build other moms up.

Stop looking at others in envy or vanity. Both are pride. Let’s instead to choose to be thankful for what God has given us. You are your baby’s world. God saw fit to give them to you. What a blessing! And now, forgetting about ourselves, let’s build other moms up.

The truth that sets us free.

Mama, if you are still feeling discouraged or lost, let me offer you the ultimate Truth that will set you free.

John 8:31-32 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

If you feel bound up in lies, this is what will set you free: The truth found in Jesus.

Get into the Word, Mama. Live in it. Be His disciple.

I recommend starting in the Gospel of John. Pray before you start reading and ask God to speak to you. And then immerse yourself in Jesus’ words. Trust Him to save you. Follow Him.

And you will be set free.

FAQ About Believing Lies

1. How can I remind myself of the truth often?

Write out the truth you need to believe on a flashcard and post it somewhere you’ll see it! Maybe the kitchen sink, laundry room, or the chair where you nurse.

Preach to yourself.

2. Where do I start if I’ve been believing lies for a long time?

Start by going to God. Tell him. Confess the lies you’ve been believing. And then ask Him for His help to believe what is true.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.