Giving birth for the first time can feel scary. There are so many unknowns until labor finally starts. One might wonder what it will feel like or how they will deal with the pain. Though women have been doing it for thousands of years, every birth is different, and the uncertainty of what it will be like is unnerving.

Perhaps you’re in this season. Maybe you’re nearing your due date and have fears about what’s to come. Whether you plan on having a home birth or hospital birth, unmedicated or not, midwife or doctor, I’m certain of this: You want a peaceful birth.

There are a lot of things outside our control when it comes to our birth experience, but there are also a lot of things we CAN choose. There are things we can do prior to and during labor to foster a peaceful birth.

May I share them with you?

Prior to birth:

1. Listen to Positive Birth Stories. Having a good mindset is crucial for having a peaceful birth, and when we hear other people’s stories about their positive births, we start to believe we can have one too. Birth will begin to feel less scary and more normal. We might gain tips and wisdom from others as we hear them recounting their experience. We will hear about their struggles and ultimate joy in welcoming their baby into the world. And it will give us courage to welcome our own. Labor will become less mysterious, and we’ll gain determination and focus on the goal.

I will link some birth stories below to get you started!

Birth Story: Unmedicated Hospital Birth with Jamie Peterson

Welcoming our 8th baby | Peaceful home birth story

Meet Our New Baby | Unassisted Home Birth Story

2. Discuss your birth plan ahead of time. Envision and plan for your birth ahead of time. Where will you be giving birth? Do you want any medication offered to you? If so, what kind? Who do you want to be with you during the birth? If you are going to the hospital, how long would you like to stay at home before going? Do you want anything given to your baby? Think about and discuss these things with your husband and doctor. Be on the same page.

3. Practice breathing. It sounds strange. Why do we have to practice something we do all the time? But this step is so important. Learning how to breathe during contractions will help it be second-nature when the time comes. You may feel silly doing so, but it will serve you well in the end! If you can carve out some time here and there to practice breathing and relaxing, you will be better equipped for when contractions come!

I will link some helpful breathing techniques below.

BREATHING Techniques for an EASIER LABOR | How To Breathe During Labor | Birth Doula | Lamaze

4. Exercise. Staying healthy and active during pregnancy is so helpful in preparing for birth. While it’s important to modify and be wise with your movements, being strong mentally and physically will only be a benefit to you. Side note: certain exercises can also help relieve pain during pregnancy!

Movements to Relieve PELVIC and BACK PAIN During Pregnancy | How to Align Pelvis During Pregnancy

Pregnancy Workout For Beginners (35-Min Easy-To-Follow Prenatal Workout)

5. Give your fears to God. If you know Jesus, you know that He is with you and will be with you during your birth. Pray about your fears ahead of time and give them to God. Ask others to pray for you too! He is ultimately the one who can calm your anxieties, because HE is the Prince of Peace.

During birth:

6. Breathe. Now it’s time to put what you’ve practiced into action. When a contraction comes, choose instead to focus on taking 5-6 deep breaths, counting through them. Focus on breathing instead of the pain, and when you’re done taking your breaths, the contraction will be over. If you focus on the pain, you will buckle under it. Turn your mind somewhere else.

7. Move around. Some people find taking a hot shower soothing for their discomfort. Others might prefer sprawling on a birth ball or getting on hands and knees. Perhaps you might try ignoring the pain and keep doing your daily tasks. By moving around, you can not only find ways to minimize the discomfort, but you may also help things speed along faster.

8. Focus on the purpose of the pain. I’ve heard labor described as pain with a purpose. It’s more like the pain of working out than the pain of breaking your leg. Though it’s incredibly intense (much more than a sore muscle I must say lol!), it’s similar in that it’s working towards a goal. Your body is doing something incredible, and your baby will soon be here.

Birth is not an emergency (at least not usually). It’s a natural and beautiful thing you were built to do, and the pain involved is bringing you closer to meeting your precious child. How thrilling!

9. Don’t go to the hospital too early. While you certainly don’t want to have the baby in the car on the way, if you are planning a hospital birth, be careful not to go too early. Your body will be more relaxed at home, and things could stall out if you go too soon. This could be especially true for first time moms. Talk with your doctor about when they’d suggest coming, and trust yours and your husband’s intuition. Don’t rush it. Stay at home as long as you can. You’ll know when it’s time to go.

10. Surrender to the process. Being prepared is so important, but I think surrendering is equally so. Your body has been incredibly designed to carry this child, and they will come when they are ready. You don’t have to be afraid, and when the time comes to push that little one into the world, lean in! Surrender to what your body can do, and trust that God is right there beside you. Don’t fight it, and get ready to welcome your precious gift!