We’ve all been there.

Faced with a hard decision.

Wondering how to make the right choice for our child.

Are you going to give your child antibiotics when they’re sick?

Will they get vaccinated?

When will you start solids?

What about sleep training, potty training, and teaching them to read?

How will you discipline?

Will they be taught at home, attend a private school, or be put in the public system?

Moms and Dads have a lot riding on their shoulders. They love their children dearly and want what’s best for them, and yet the weight of responsibility can feel crushing.

The fear of making the wrong decision might be paralyzing.

We might go to Google for answers. We may ask others for advice. We think and overthink and get overwhelmed.

And the voices get louder.

The fear does too.

What is the right decision? How are we to ever know? And what terrible thing will happen if we fail?

Our minds spin, and our anxiety grows.

But what if there was another way?

What would happen if instead of turning to Google, to people-pleasing and to fear, we turned our eyes upward? What if we quieted the noise and the scrambling and instead got still? How things would change if we first asked God for wisdom and chose to walk by HIS Spirit instead of trusting in our own minds?

Scripture teaches us to do just this.

James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Proverbs 28:26 Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

We don’t have to live like the world lives, running in fear and making decisions in our earthly wisdom. How lost we really would be if all we had to trust was our own understanding?

So how do we do this practically?

Here are some thoughts…

1. Seek God

The first step in making a wise decision is to look to God. He is the beginning and the end of real wisdom. He not only GIVES wisdom (James 1:5), but when we seek wisdom, we find we know HIM more (Proverbs 2:5).

Seeking God and seeking real wisdom are synonymous.

Take time to quiet your heart and go to Him in prayer. Tell him your fears. Speak to Him or write a prayer in your journal. Bring the decision you need to make to Him, and ask Him for guidance.

Open His Word. The Bible is our guidebook through which God speaks to us. Fill your mind and heart with God’s truth, and wait on Him. He wants to lead you.

2. Trust God’s Wisdom

When God leads you in a certain direction, trust Him.

James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

When God leads you, don’t doubt. If you know Jesus, you have the God of the universe and the Savior of the world living in you. The Holy Spirit indwells you.

And He knows what you and your child needs. Trust His direction.

3. Follow Your Husband’s Lead

God gave you your husband as the leader of your home, and He gave you both your specific children to raise and care for. That is no accident.

We as wives have not only the duty but also the privilege of submitting to our husband’s leadership. If your husband feels led to make a certain decision or not, pay attention!

4. Wisely Research

Being informed about the decisions we are making is important. We don’t need to blindly accept everything we’re told, and we live in a day and age where we can get information on just about everything. There are SO MANY resources and countless options for things. We can ask experts for advice.

But I’d also encourage you to do this wisely. If you know that you have a tendency to go down rabbit holes or give way to fear, perhaps ask your husband to do some research for you. Again, ask God for help. Know what’s opinion and what’s fact. Beware of biases.

Research, but do so wisely.

5. Get Good Counsel

We can learn a lot from Godly counselors. Those who have gone before us, those who are seeking Jesus, can teach us and encourage us in so many ways.

Be teachable. Ask questions. And learn.

Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

6. Abandon Anxiety

It’s really easy to fear. We love our kids so much, and we would do anything for them. But that same love can quickly turn into anxiety. We can’t bear the thought of messing up in caring for them, and we would suffer anything so they don’t have to.

So much of this is good. Our love for them is beautiful and God-honoring.

But fear and anxiety are not.

2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Choose to say no to fear. Cast your worries on God. Let Him give you His peace.

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

7. Know Your Identity

There are so many strong opinions out there on what we should and shouldn’t do for our kids. We can begin believing that our identity or worth is linked to our mothering strategies and choices.

We might want to be the Mom who only gives her kids organic food. Or the Mom who never loses her temper. We may long to be the Mama who gets up an hour before her kids, or the Mom who’s super fit and strong.

While it’s good to pursue patience, healthy living, and good habits, we mustn’t tie our identity to them. As Christians, our identity is set and is not subject to change based on how we parent our kids.

Our ultimate identity and worth are found in Christ.

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

For we Mamas who know Jesus, our identity is secure as children of God, and our worth is fixed because He mercifully chose to love us.

8. Don’t Fear People

God will lead you to make decisions that are different than how others might handle a situation.

And that is okay.

God chose you – not somebody else – to be the parent your child needs, and you don’t need to explain your decisions to them.

When God is leading your steps, you can be confident in the choices you make. It’s okay if others disagree.

9. Do The Next Thing

We don’t have to stay stuck in indecision. We can move forward by faith in the wisdom God has given.

How? Because God is sovereign. He is trustworthy.

When He guides you, you can believe He knows best and loves your children even more than you do.

AND, He is bigger than our mistakes. Even if and WHEN we make a wrong turn, God is not surprised or thrown off course.

We see over and over again in the Bible how God can work despite and even through people’s shortcomings.

God is bigger than your ability to figure something out or make the right choice.

We can choose to take one step in front of the other, knowing that we don’t walk alone. God is with us, and He is with our children too. He is and always will be faithful.

Mama, I don’t know what decision you’re walking through right now, but know that God is with you. He loves you, and He loves your sweet babies too. He sees how much you love your kids and the fear that so often stems from that. Turn your eyes to Him. Let Him carry you and lead you step by step.

FAQ about Decision Making

If God is sovereign, how much responsibility do I have in making choices that honor him?

I believe it’s not an either/or. God is sovereign over everything, AND he gives us freewill. We do reap consequences for the choices we make, but the fact is we will make mistakes. God is ultimately in control, and He can use even the worst choices for His ultimate good (Gen. 50:20).

There are so many opinions out there. How do I know which is right?

It’s good to research and to learn. It’s good to get Godly advice. But ultimately, we need to go to God and be in agreement with our husbands as to what choices we make. God made you the parent of your child, and what is the right decision for some families may not be the right decision for others. Get advice, but then trust God to lead you and move ahead with confidence.